Real talk: MARRIED LIFE

Real talk: MARRIED LIFE

Why hello there friends, new and old !! It’s been a little while since I’ve written a blog post. Life man.

Let’s catch up!

So Alec and I have officially been married for 6 months! The time has flown by really. I couldn’t believe it when November arrived. Six whole months. it’s been super special being married, but definitely has had its ups and downs. Married life is so different than being engaged and dating. I thought not much would change since we’ve been together for 10 years; but I was so wrong !

Lol Home Depot 😉 the mother land.

Our relationship took on a whole new vibe. There is just something so special about being bound together by the words you promised each other on wedding day. It really makes everything you do and say mean that much more. It also makes it easier to be a little more sassy;) a little more honest, and a lot more comfortable in how you act. Which, all , can be so amazing but have their pit falls. Even after 10 years, Alec and I for sure found new ways to get under each other’s skin. Small little things here and there, busy schedules for us both, and a little bit(a lot) of exhaustion from over a year of planning, COVID, and travel.

Naturally, after so many “highs” I think we both felt this natural lull in our newly wed bliss( a little sad and freaked out … is this normal?!.

Being Alec and myself we quickly jumped on these feelings. ( YAY GO US !!!) and to be honest, I wanted to share this because I think it’s easy to get lost navigating marriage as a young couple in society today. As many amazing examples there are on what a successful marriage can be, there seems to be lots of bitterness and brokenness as well. And when looking at a couple whose been married for 20+ years, I often wonder , well how did it start out? Put aside all the usual sayings, and broad statements … I WANT the details, the ugly, the grit. To be frank, not a lot of people want to share this at my age….and I don’t know how appropriate it is to ask ? {insert laugh out loud moment} so here I am sharing as a young married woman, hoping others who follow can feel less alone, and a sense of community. Marriage isn’t easy and glamorous all the time, but it sure is MOST OF THE TIME.

We started being 110% more intentional. Putting our phones away, making time to connect after a long days(EVEN WHEN TIRED PEOPLE!!), intentional and spontaneous date nights, and having “grounding” moments(long hugs, holding hands.. ect).

Wow. Within a week or so, things weren’t even like before but better. A fresh, new light between us, not the “engaged glow” but a “married” connection that is so unique. It’s hard to describe but a true piece of magic.

A week night // date night

No one talks candidly about being newly married. It always seems like people talk about the honeymoon phase, skip the middle , and follow up with the “married for 15-20 years wohooo …”

I’m thinking, “ but wait!! … what about all the in between moments, thoughts, feelings? …” I guess this post is to try and capture a glimpse of married life that gets forgotten about, or skipped over. I hope this post can have its moment and can reach some people navigating this adventure called marriage.

Some other questions and curiosities from you all:

Chores and boundaries: it’s so good to talk these things through at the very beginning. I do a lot in the kitchen, Alec does all of laundry. So it feels fair. Alec handles most of our finances but we do sit downs to discuss spending and money allocation. If I’m having a busy few days, Alec will take over running a few errands when we run out of things( although I tend to do most of the grocery shopping and miscellaneous errands!) I think having boundaries and assigned chores helps so much to avoid getting restful or feeling over worked. We share cleaning the apt! We have random spurts of feeling like we need a refresh. Over all, we are both super clean freaks so keeping things clean isn’t an issue.

Finances. This one is kind of personal for everyone. For Alec and myself, we chose to combine! Again, totally a personal preference as to what your comfortable with. We feel like, as old timeyyy or “outdated” this may be, that what’s mine is ours. I have considered the implications, and weighed the options, and for me the answer was pretty clear. It all comes down to trust, and honesty. How do you want to go into a life long commitment with someone? I didn’t want to put that wall. Just isn’t who we are as a couple. Simple. :)) so we share moniessssss. It’s so empowering to build wealth together. Not only are we lovers, but business partners 😉 pretty cool.

Missing the “boyfriend” phase: honestly, no. At first, I thought I’d miss just the feeling of being boyfriend and girlfriend. The anticipation of one day getting married. After entering this phase, it’s a whole new “chase,” and we’re both here for it. Also who am I kidding, Alec will always be my “forever boyfriend….”

KIDDOS: first off—- please establish plans for kids before you marry someone. So important to be on the same page. For us : it’s a someday thangg. On the list currently: marriage&travel.

Social life : awww. So Alec and I have always been kind of home bodies. We love going out, but staying in is such a vibe. Alsoooo, being married means we do most social things together(not because we have to, but we want to!!) There are Times when we have our own girl/guy friend meet ups, but family events we do together. We like to be together in social settings, lame but, we just have more fun being out together. Basically there is a time and place for everything. Alone time is important, friend time is important, and together time is important. Find balance.

I’m sitting here trying to finish up lunch and this post ; Alec comes by asking if he can have a quote. ( Making me laugh ….:”) per usual.) So here’s his quote,

“marriage is fantastic, the best thing thats ever happened to me….”

Well. Okay I have the most amazing husband. Marriage is such an adventure and a club I’m so excited to be apart of. It’s not easy, but in every way so worth it.

Warmly;

A newly married girlieeee

One response to “Real talk: MARRIED LIFE”

Leave a Reply to rachelramdhan Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: