REVEALED: Secrets to Long Distance

Friends,, its a beautiful Wednesday and I just finished my work week! Three 12s (night shifts are rough but I have been learning so much!). I am almost finished with orientation; I have about 3 ish weeks left or so with my amazing preceptor! She’s seriously the coolest, best nurse EVER. I am so lucky to have been able to learn from her these past couple of months… ugh already missing her! … Not going to lie, I am for sure nervous to start on my own, but really excited to continuing developing myself as a NICU nurse.

Okay enough for updates on work… So I wanted to share some of the major tips and tricks for long distance relationships! I have had lots of girls ask me how Alec and I managed for 4 years being 4 hours apart!

First of all, ITS NOT EASY. It’s a choice each and everyday to make the extra effort! I will say, it taught us to be so appreciative of every moment we have together! We are always feeling super blessed( which I think has been one of the coolest gifts that long distance gave us).


My biggest tips!:

  1. FACETIMES ARE ESSENTIAL. Some nights Alec and I would literally take 10-15 min to stop what we were doing to just talk face to face (ishh hehe). No matter how busy of a night we were having (studying, projects, ect.) we made it happen!
  2. Sending “goodmorning” and “goodnight” texts. A lot of the time in college we both spent working away( its a busy time for everyone,!!) and would tend to not talk during the day. So having those texts, even though small, made a big difference. It was a way to know Alec was thinking of me and vice versa.
  3. Making sacrifices. That meant missing big football games sometimes, driving tired or late at night, missing out on nights with friends. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made to keep your relationship growing. It’s part of it. If your partner isn’t willing to make sacrifices for your  long distance relationship, odds are its not going to work out!
  4. Never going to sleep mad. If something is wrong, or upsetting you, talk it out! communication is so important especially when you are unable to see your person everyday! It’s easy to lose touch//stay on the same wave length not seeing your significant other!
  5. Work on TRUST. Trust is a funny thing…its so hard to gain and easy to lose. Trust means believing in the good, honoring your intuition, and being vulnerable. This part of long distance is indisputably the hardest. I think people go wrong here because they lose the real meaning of the word. To trust is to be confident in YOURSELF first: know your value and worth… and expect the same of your partner. I kid you not, I told Alec a long time ago, ” I choose you. So I will always act in that way where ever I am. If one day that changes, Ill let you know, and I want you to do the same.” Since then, trust has never been a problem for us because we made it so simple. Like, ” hey, you want to go party, talk to other girls, be a free bird, go ahead, but I wont be here.” ITS SIMPLE LADIES!! If your guy/girl isn’t down, then long distance ISN’T GOING TO WORK. (honestly this person probably isn’t right for you anyways!!).
  6. Small acts of love go a long way. For example, Alec always sent me flowers on special occasions( because he knows how much I love them), wrote me letters(also something special to us), and would drive up to surprise me randomly after a tough week of nursing schoool. ❤ find someone who is willing to put in the extra time to make you feel like one of kind! It doesn’t have to be those exact things, but things that are personal for you both.
  7. Keep the crazy partying… to a minimum. It honestly just ends up causing so much trouble. College parties usually are out of control and just set you up for failure. Just being honest.
  8. Introduce your friends to your significant other (guys and girls), so that he/she knows who you are talking about when you do go out and do fun things! It helps.
  9. As hard as it can be, don’t become a control freak! Freedom is part of the human experience. You should allow your boyfriend or girlfriend to experience life! Loving someone is wanting them to grow and flourish. Holding someone back because of your own insecurities will just push that person away. Be aware of this.
  10. DONT LIE !!! I know that seems like a no brainer … but seriously just don’t do it. Not even about little things because it plants seeds of doubt(which will really take a toll on your relationship!)

 

I really hope these lessons I learned from doing long distance help you and your significant other. LONG DISTANCE is tough but if you both put in the effort it’s so doable! Don’t give up… even when the times get hard because I can promise you, its so very worth it. I have never felt so grateful, and full of love than I do right now! ( much thanks to “long distance” for enriching my relationship and taking it to a whole different level!)

 

BEST OF LUCK. XO,,

 

Rachael and Alec